This past weekend Christa, Caden, and I went to a birthday party for one of our friend’s daughter who was turning one. They had the party at their community pool where we ate some great burgers and went swimming. Most of the kids at the party were between 9 months and about 3 years old. The people who were hosting the party had several little “kiddy pools” off to the side so the little ones could go swimming (ok, I went in them too but who wants to grow up). Anyways, Caden got bored with the “kiddy pool” and wanted to move on to the “big daddy” pool (this would be the normal adult pool for those who aren’t of Generation X,Y, or Z).
I got into the pool with Caden and held him close. He loves pools and shows no fear (I’m so proud). After taking him around the pool several times I took him over to the steps where he was able to stand up on the first two. I let go and allowed him to walk back and forth on the second step while keeping a watchful eye and my hand just under the water to catch him if he stepped off. As I was watching him it was as if I was seeing how God watches over us. I want what is best for Caden but at the same time I know I can’t “baby” him. I must allow him to explore and find out things on his own. I love him so much that I am willing to watch him slip and fall so he can learn his own lessons. I want Caden to have the freedom to live his life and make his own decisions. I in no way want to show Caden everything or raise a robot because failure is one of the greatest teachers. We can be taught things thousands of times, but it isn’t until we fall do we realize the truth about things.
I think that God is like this. He is sitting there in the water keeping a watchful eye on us, allowing us to move around in life and explore. He allows us to make our own decisions, whether good or bad. He allows us to make these decisions because He wants to give us that freedom. God doesn’t want robots. I also think that God’s hand is in ultimate control and that nothing happens that He isn’t in control of. Just like with Caden, there is nothing he could have done while I was watching him that I didn’t have total control over. Unlike me, I could have taken my eye off of Caden and something could have happened outside of my control, but I don’t believe that is the case with God. It maybe in this freedom that God gives us that we confuse His love for allowing “bad things to happen to good people.” What if Caden had fallen and hit his head? Did that mean that I didn’t love him because he suffered a consequence for making a decision to explore? No. A lot of times in life I think it is this freedom that we want to use to “accuse” God for allowing “bad things” to happen.
The other night Caden was crying and Christa went into his room. She picked him up and rubbed his back. Within seconds he quite crying and went back to sleep. I truly believe that God’s relationship to me is the same as Caden’s and mine; I just don’t think that I have the humility to see it. Caden truly needs me to survive, so he is grateful beyond measure for what I do for him even though he doesn’t know it, he just trusts me. I think that maybe this is what Jesus meant when He said we must have faith like a child.
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